Salman fans feeling cheated after finding a script in Bajrangi Bhaijaan trailer

"What is a talented actor like Nawazuddin doing in the film?" fans asked.

Mumbai. Although Bajrangi Bhaijaan’s trailer that was released yesterday, received generally positive reviews from public and critics alike, some hardcore Salman Khan fans were shocked to find the film actually having some story line.

“This is cheating. I mean I did not sign up to be a Salman fan for such shit. If script or story was what I was interested in, I would much rather have been a Irfan Khan or Naseeruddin Shah fan,” argued a Salman fan, pointing to the enormously high number of thumbs up the trailer received on YouTube.

“What is a talented actor like Nawazuddin doing in the film?” fans asked.

“After all the support we showed for him over last month, this is how he treats us. This is not done. We are feeling like intellectuals now. It’s such a disgusting feeling,” said another fan who was expecting lot more action scenes, some cool, attitude driven dialogues and topless shots of Salman.

While most fans were disappointed, some were still hopeful and did not want to jump to any conclusion in haste.

“I am just keeping my fingers crossed and praying that when the film releases, my worst fears don’t come true and that the film turns out to be like all previous typical Sallu bhai films,” said a Salman fan, who was confident given Salman’s past films, the film would live up to ‘no-expectations’.

Some of the more aggressive fans however threatened makers of throwing the prints of the film in Mantralaya, if they don’t edit out sensible scenes from the film’s next trailer.

They even warned Salman of ditching him.

“If he doesn’t mend his ways soon, we will soon turn ourselves into SRK fan. At least he respects sentiments of his fans doesn’t do any film that could go over their heads,” a fan told Faking News.

Via: Faking News

CBSE toppers confident of working under a future boss who passed with mere distinction

Students praying they don't top.

New Delhi. School students who have topped this year CBSE 12th exams met in the national capital to celebrate their success. During the success meet, they expressed their confidence that they will be working like a donkey under a boss who would had probably failed in his/her CBSE exams.

Students praying they don’t top.

Speaking to Faking News, one such national level topper from Chennai, said, “I owe my success to my parents. If not for them, I would not have been able to secure such high marks. I will join Engineering, do research and later join an IT company with a six-digit salary (few digits after decimal point). Later, I would be working under a boss who would have got six-digit rank when he wrote his CBSE 12th exam. I feel so happy thinking of my future path.”

Another national level topper from Hyderabad, said, “I studied very hard for this exam. I’m thankful to God for making me a topper. I just wish I can complete my Engineering here and get to onsite quickly in 5 years. My bava is already in Charlotte, North Carolina.”

“There is no stopping me now. After all I have worked very hard to climb up the ladder of corporate slavery later in my professional life,” he added.

At the end of success meet, all the toppers unanimously accepted that they will not be in any sort of news for the rest of their lives.

Meanwhile a common friend of these toppers, who passed the exam with just distinction was asked to give party by these toppers as his chances of becoming a CEO and leading a batch of toppers like them, have become brighter now.

Via: Faking News

Man misses his station to stare back at co-passenger who stared at him while traveling in Metro

Randeep with his friend.

New Delhi. A Gurgaon based man today missed the station he was supposed to get down at in his bid to stare back at a man who stared at him while traveling in Delhi metro.

25 year old Randeep Ahlawat, who boarded metro from Huda city centre station and was supposed to get down at MG Road station traveled all the way to Civil Lines where the man staring at him finally got down.

Having won the battle, a tired Randeep later boarded a metro back to Gurgaon.

Faking News spoke to a jubilant Randeep whose eye balls were fixed at one position due to the unprecedented amount of strain he put them into.

Randeep with his friend.

“I am never the first one to stare at a co-passenger until and unless it happens to be a girl,” he told Faking News. “But nevertheless I am last the last one to blink my eyes if someone decided to stare at me. My father has always taught me ‘Never start a stare but always be the last one to finish it’. It’s all about self respect and family’s pride.”

“I mean just how could I get up and leave when his eyes were still fixed at me. That would have meant I have accepted defeat,” he went on to explain. “And I had to also stare back at him for at least 1 min longer than he stared at me.”

“Though initially I was a bit uncomfortable as I was getting this gayish feeling, but thanks to my ego and the culture I come from, I decided to take him head on, literally,” he revealed. “Also it being extremely hot outside due to summers and metro being air conditioned was another motivation.”

The onlookers of the fierce battle claim that while Randeep had his weak moments in between when his eyes were beginning to give up, betraying his determination, having not blinked for close to an hour. But he held them with his fingers and went on with the job.

Latest reports suggest that Randeep had still not reached his destination as he got himself involved in another stare-battle with statute of a local leader, whom he thought was staring at him.

Via: Faking News

Tata Motors launches “Seldom”, a brand new series for customers who rarely take their cars out

Mumbai. India’s auto industry giant Tata Motors has reportedly launched Seldom, a limited edition model in its rare cars segment, after a thorough market research revealed specific behavior pattern of customers.

Faking News reporters spoke to Tata Motors’ Media Interaction Head, Kuchbhi Singh and here’s what he had to say about Seldom.

“A picture of Sharma uncle’s ‘Tata Seldom’ that’ll be taken out of garage only after 3 months from now i.e., during Monty’s wedding.”

“Tata Motors has always exceeded customers’ expectations and even in this model, we’ve ensured reality exceeds what customers expect. It all started when our market research team adopted new and innovative techniques to come up with facts and figures that really made a difference in customers’ lives,” he said.

“Hundreds of our marketing agents surveyed residential colonies across the country and found that, even during working days cars were neatly covered with no signs of them being driven in near future. In some cases, men clad in lungi-baniyan cleaned it even better than what bus cleaners do. To our agents’ surprise, 90% of them covered back their cars after cleaning and rode to work on rival manufactured bikes,” he disclosed the findings.

“A large section of car owners had one pattern of behavior in common; taking the car out ‘only’ on occasions like weddings and receptions. Later, it was found that this population had a large subset who drove in cars only if function halls were within city limits. All of this research led to our new product – Seldom, with a bill fitting tag-line: for occasional occasions,” finished explaining Kuchbhi as a huge round of applause followed.

Sources say, rival car manufacturers have already started luring Tata’s marketing agents with offers they wouldn’t want to refuse.

Via: Faking News

While filling restaurant feedback-form customer asks for extra sheets to write, other customers shocked

Apparently one wasn't enough for him

Mumbai: In a bizarre incident at Jagneel Family bar and restaurant, a customer by name Pankaj Khandekar ended up asking for extra sheets while filling up the restaurant feedback form, thereby shocking other customers and restaurant staff.

As soon as Pankaj asked for the extra sheets, the otherwise noisy and bustling restaurant suddenly came to a complete silence. Customers on all other tables were looking at Pankaj with extreme disbelief, as he was with provided extra sheets and he continued to diligently pen down additional lines of feedback. Many of the onlookers were reportedly reminded of their exam days in school, when they used to be at loss of words to fill-up in the original answer sheet yet one of their co-students was taking extra sheets upon sheets, having already filled the original one.

Apparently one wasn’t enough for him

Pankaj reportedly took 3 extra sheets to complete his feedback, then capped his pen with utmost style and then valiantly got up and handed the complete feedback to the restaurant invigilator (manager). He then looked down upon at all the other customers with a victorious smirk and coolly left the restaurant premises.

Mahesh Borker who was seated next to Pankaj later described the incident as a horrible nightmare , “Oh man, when he asked for extra sheets, I immediately lost my appetite. I also had the restaurant feedback form kept in front of me, but all I could write was that the soup was tasteless and ice-cream was melted when served, I didn’t even fill up the complete space on the original form sheet. I don’t know why that guy needed extra sheets for a restaurant feedback? I used to be a confident man, but after this incident I am broken from the inside.”

Pankaj Khandekar, the man himself, labelled the whole incident a usual one. He said, “I used to be a restaurant owner before I lost lakhs in that business and closed out 2 years back. Now I am a content writer. So you see I am a lethal combo, being a content writer I can write a lot and when it comes to food business, I can write endlessly.”

“Taking 3 to 4 extra sheets is a norm for me. When I visit 5 star hotels I usually fillup 10 to 15 sheets. I comment on food quality, texture, taste and nourishment values of the products used. I also comment in detail on the way food was brought to the table and how it could have been served better. I then provide my inputs on ambiance, décor and how it can be improved, what building materials can be used. I also comment on dressing and serving style of waiters, bar dancers and other peripheral staff. Then I get into the real profit and loss part of it. I estimate how much the restaurant is earning and how much more it can earn if my suggestions are followed. Now that is something I call feedback,” a beaming Pankaj concluded.

While Pankaj is expecting restaurant owners to call him and sign him up for freelance consulting assignments with them, he admits having received no such calls until now despite giving detailed feedbacks in over 150 restaurants across Mumbai. One of the restaurant owners however talked to us on condition of anonymity and said Pankaj’s feedback is generally some serving and plating style tips copied word to word from top restaurant journals. Pankaj has even been seen filling the feedback form by copying sentences written on small parchi (pieces of paper) which he secretly keeps below the table on his lap, a habit he is carrying from his exam days.

No related news.

Via: Faking News

Laborer with 5 KG cement sack on back, mistakenly runs through a 10K marathon, wins by huge margin

Bheeku in action!

Mumbai: In a sensational turn of events a construction worker by name Bheekhu was declared the winner of Mumbai 10K marathon after he accidentally ran the whole marathon route while carrying a heavy cement bag between two of the city’s major construction sites. Apparently the route taken by Bheekhu between the two construction sites completely overlapped with the Mumbai marathon route and hence he was noticed by the organizers while running on the race track at an unbelievable pace. Bheekhu was later declared a winner by a huge margin as he completed the whole race in less than an hour where the next best participant could only finish it up in 1 hour 25 minutes.

Bheekhu who works as a daily-wage worker at a new housing society being constructed on the outskirts of the city later talked to news channels in detail. Bheekhu told media that on that morning he was actually instructed by his supervisor to quickly carry a 5 KG cement sack to a “nearby” construction site 15 Kms away, where the construction team was facing some cement shortage. Bheekhu immediately picked up a 5 KG cement bag and started running towards the other site. Since he was in such a hurry to reach the other site he accidentally aced the 10K too which featured exactly in the middle of his route.

Bheeku in action!

Another 10K participant Rohail Bandookwala, an import-export businessman, who came 2nd in the 10 K was not very happy with the result and poured his emotions in front of media. He said, “I have been doing a rigorous 3 hours work-out daily since past 6 months. I had even cut down severely on carbs and have been focusing a lot on my running strategy. I was desperately hoping to win this event, but from nowhere a beggar like person comes, beats me squarely and wins the race?”

“And let me put things in perspective here. Firstly I was wearing my Duma super-bubble extra support Alexander-series shoes which I recently bought online for Rs. 11,562 and that majdoor was just running barefoot. Is that even allowed? Secondly, I was in proper racing gear and he was not. I was wearing my flexi-knee caps, the official 10K T-shirt, and also my shoulder pack that keeps my mp3 player intact. On the contrary that laborer was running adhoc without even a T-shirt? This is not acceptable sir, I will strongly complain against it. I was one of the best contenders and still I was found to be no match for the person who had not even registered for the 10K? I stand defeated for no mistake of mine,” Bandookwala fumed in anger.

While Bheekhu is being criticized for his actions by several race-participants, Rubeena Chewingumwala one of the chief organizers of 10K was all praises for Bheekhu, “Bheekhu is a lovely personality. I talked to him for an hour and I find him simple, humble yet extremely capable. What no one is talking about is the fact that he not only ran the whole distance in around 45 minutes, he also did it with a 5 KG cement sack on his back. That is a world record in itself.”

“Also let us not forget he did not run just 10 Kms he actually ran 15.7 Kms, the total distance between the two construction sites. It’s just marvelous to see a super-human, dressed in torn rags, innocently achieving record breaking feats and yet staying modest about it. To be frank I would have actually dated him if he were a bit more classy,” 28 year old Ms Chewingumwala said with a blushing smile.

While Bheekhu may have won many hearts with this feat, he may not finally receive rewards for this victory in 10K as several other marathon participants have registered strong complaints against him on technical grounds for participating and winning race without wearing proper racing gear and without registering for the event.

However a local NGO has promised Bheekhu that they will help him get justice if he agrees to change his religion and re-names himself Patrick. They have also agreed to help with him legal framework and documentation around the religion change.

Via: Faking News