Bigg Boss 8 will feature only dogs for better family viewing

Bigg Boss dog

Mumbai. The producers of reality show Bigg Boss have decided that the next version will have only dogs as inmates. This decision was taken after the current dog in the house received all round praise for his behavior.

“We had earlier read reports about dogs being more cultured than their owners, but we thought it was faking news, but now we are getting real feedback about the dog being the most cultured being on the show,” a representative of Colors TV confirmed.

Dog named “Heaven” currently feeling nothing like that in the alleged reality show

Since the show had earlier attracted criticisms from civil groups and I&B Ministry for being unfit for family viewing, the producers are now planning to have a new season that will feature only dogs.

“Last month we got a notice, and earlier too we were criticized for showing intimate scenes such as those between Ashmit Patel and Veena Malik. Now we can’t control the behavior of our inmates,” the representative claimed, rejecting the charges that everything was “scripted”.

“But with proper training, we can control behavior of dogs,” the representative added, “I think they will make lesser noise, they will play better games, and they will have better occasional fights too.”

The representative didn’t confirm if they could send a human being among the dogs for the next season.

“Don’t think the dogs would enjoy that, even if we send someone who is a dog lover or someone who is referred to as a dog everywhere on internet,” the Colors TV representative said.

While the channel is claiming that they undertook this step because they wanted to have a show that is fit for family viewing, sources suggest that there are commercial motives.

“Dogs are not too costly to hire and they speak a language that can be understood across India. This will save costs while increase the TRPs. This is purely a business decision,” a source claimed.

It’s not yet sure if Salman Khan will continue to host the show that will have only dogs or the job could be given to someone like Kamaal R Khan, or even Aamir Khan, who once named his dog “Shah Rukh”.

“I will watch as long as Sallu bhai is there,” said a Bigg Boss and Salman Khan fan, “As it is, Bhai is known to treat contestants like dogs so it won’t be much of a problem for him to adjust.”

Via: Faking News

Man thrown off from running train by co-passengers after he refuses to shut up

Even the train seemed to be 'fuming' with rage.

Nagpur. In a shocking incident a 32 year old man Batole Baaz traveling in Delhi bound Garib Rath from Mumbai was allegedly thrown off the running train by co-passengers after they got extremely fed up because of him constantly talking about something or the other.

Even the train seemed to be ‘fuming’ with rage.

Within seconds of departure, Batole opened his mouth and started uttering things that fancied nobody’s interest, making it amply clear what was in store for his everybody on board. The co-passengers initially smiled at what he said out of courtesy. But the man mistook this decency and thought he was being entertaining and hence went on and on.

He began by doling out unsolicited advice to people about where and how they should keep their luggage. Then he began telling stories about what he does, how he knows everything about anything under the sun and how he always manages to get a ticket even during peak period. After he was done doing that, he switched to telling old and stale jokes as if his own creation and then tried to show his political expertise about how everything in India is doomed for disaster if a change is not brought.

After his repeated attempts to engage others in one sided conversation with him failed, he began talking to empty chairs and windows of the train. He even forcibly lifted 2 year old kid to explain what he thinks of the political situation in the country.

“Though he was supporting Modi and singing his praises, still nobody was interested,” a co-passenger explained how boring the talks must have been.

Later he even went to other coaches to bore talk to people there.

“We thought he is just too excited and would calm down and stop after sometime. But we were mistaken. When he showed no signs of shutting his mouth even after 6 hours into the journey, we tried many things to convey our disinterest but to no avail. We thought we could ignore him but even our attempts to do so were thwarted by him after he began following us to even in toilets and other places. We even pretended to be asleep but he would talk to even our dead face,” a co-passenger explained how it all became unbearable for them and they were left with no other option but to throw Batole out of the train.

It was when one of the passengers failed to take it anymore and fainted out of boredom, with few other showing signs of nervous breakdown that it was decided to take this step. The doctor on board also supported the decision even as he failed to bring the fainted guy back to consciousness.

As per on-listeners, even as he was being lifted and taken near the gate, he was still going on and on about random things. The TT too is reported to have joined them in making the mission successful.

Experts have however slammed Batole’s co-passenger for such behavior. They feel such people suffer from low self-esteem and normally look forward to such journeys where they can flaunt their alleged knowledge and hence should be tackled with care and medically treated instead of being ostracized in this manner.

Meanwhile Faking News managed to trace Batole after an extensive search. He was lying near a railway track on outskirts of Ratlam with a buffalo in what appeared to be an attempt to converse with the animal.

Via: Faking News

Study: Angry women never kill themselves

An independent study conducted by Indian Medical Association confirmed that women who usually are short tempered never kill themselves but kill their maids or beat their husbands. According to the study, recent killing of maid by BSP MP’s wife in UP is not an isolated case but also exposes the worst lives of husbands and maids who live with ill-tempered women.
“Few brain cells of such women are infected with dangerous virus ‘hypocrisisis’ under the influence of which women can easily commit murder of maid or beat their husbands furiously and take shelter of their psychic weakness,” said Dr. Satyadev Dubey of Fortis Hospitals.
The Indian Medical Association also studied that such brain cells usually help angry woman to hit somebody hard or kill him/her easily. However, the study also confirmed that such brain cells are so rationale that they don’t allow woman to kill herself.
“This virus comes from few social problems like hypocritic lifestyle of people. These people believe in self health optimization by affecting other’s health,” said Dr. Dubey “Women under influence of hypocrisis virus never allow a single hurt to their own health while damaging their maids and even their husbands who suffer from serious beating.”
Confirming her angry nature, BSP MP Dhananjay Singh said that he was habitual of having 10-15 slaps per month from his wife Jagriti Singh who killed her maid.
“I really like when she kick on my ass hard or slap me at least 10-15 times every month. That gives me immense pleasure of Behenji hitting me hard. I requested UP Police to allow her to come to office twice or thrice a week so that I could be slapped hard each time. Even they can put me in jail with her so that I would be beaten up by both of them.”

Via: Indian Satire

Faking News loves Digvijay Singh, do you?

Digvijay Singh

It was never a secret, but now it’s official.

Apparently, Mr. Singh is not too happy to hear about this love from Faking News.

Mr. Digvijay Singh, who is logic and civility personified, has often been at the receiving end of some illogical and discourteous articles of Faking News, but we have decided to make amends.

We want Mr. Singh to know that our articles were nowhere as brilliant and incisive as his comments and knowledge. In fact, we never tried to mock Mr. Singh, we only tried to develop our skills and think like him.

We tried to mimic him, and imitation is the best form of flattery, isn’t it?

If you think we have failed to match Mr. Singh, we blame RSS for this.

The readers of Faking News should know that Mr. Digvijay Singh is a senior politician who keeps politics in India on the right track; else politics of India could become another boring subject like space research or classical Hindustani music.

We hope our readers agree.

Not only Mr. Singh, but there are other people too, whom we love, and we want you to tell us who they are in your opinion.

We want to select 5 people/entities from 5 different fields, to whom we’ll say “no hard feelings” or “No Hard Fillings” with 5-Star chocolates. These fields are:

1. Politics (candidates other than Digvijay Singh, if any)
2. Entertainment
3. News Media
4. Sports
5. Others (people/entities who/that don’t primarily belong to any of the above fields e.g. IRCTC!)

Please suggest your nominees in the comments section and we’ll soon have a poll to get the list of people, who are “most loved” by the Faking News community.

“No Hard Fillings” to anyone!

The poll will be announced soon, unless all kinds of polls are banned!

Via: Faking News

Another typo, stadium scoreboard shows 100 instead of 10 against Sachin’s name

Sachin Tendulkar

Kolkata. After misspelling Sachin’s name and adding ‘Mr’ before his wife’s name, Cricket Association of Bengal (CAB) has done it again.

Tendulkar after seeing the number on the scorecard

This time, Eden Gardens’ scoreboard flashed a score of 100 runs against Sachin’s name when he was returning to pavilion after getting out by a dubious LBW decision at the score of 10.

Entire stadium, including the West Indies players and Sachin Tendulkar, were left bewildered after they saw the scorecard.

Some of the WI players, who were already frustrated with the lack of attention they were getting, were seen banging their head against the ground.

Rumor is doing the rounds that it was another deliberate attempt by CAB officials to make Sachin’s penultimate match a memorable one.

But giving a rest to wild speculations, CAB officials cleared the air and apologized for the typo, again. However, this time, they had an explanation for the typo.

“When Sachin was declared out on score of 10, our employees saw the sadness on Sachin’s face and on the faces of other people in the crowd. One of them couldn’t stop himself, and he changed the scoreboard to give people a momentary joy,” said senior CAB official Souvik Sen.

“Had umpire given the right decision, he would have scored a century for sure,” Sen told Faking News.

With this, CAB hopes that their earlier typos will be forgotten and forgiven.

Via: Faking News